Schnooks, I am sorry. This is something I have thought about doing for so very long. But I didn’t.

I procrastinated.

I convinced myself that I would do it one day soon. That day took me around 3 years – but finally, I have done it.

This is my first post for you, on a website that I have created for the purposes of chronicling your life, passing on advice, and as a time capsule of all the wonderful years of your childhood. One day I hope you enjoy reading this. Oh and when needed this site can be used to show the world your talent by posting videos and audition reels.

I am creating a site for Cooper as well, and you may not be surprised to hear his first post is the same as yours give or take.

So why today?

So what is it about today that got me to kick my bum into gear and set this account and site up? Well, the truth is I felt bad because we argued this morning. You, Cooper and I. And the result was I yelled at you both and upset you both. You both cried and when you were at school I cried.

See, It upsets me too. I hate making either of you two cry – sure I know sometimes tough love is necessary (Cooper asks me all the time “Why do you have to be so strict sometimes” lol) – but I do not enjoy when I rant and rave at you. It is not something I am proud of and it is MOST definitely something I never want you to learn. I want you to be calmer and more controlled than I am. I want you to be rational where I am not.

I have taken to calling you and  Zavia my little sponges because I know that you have been and will for a year or two more, be little sponges of all Mum and I do. And we need to do better in many ways. As you have reminded me before, I am teaching you how to deal with things, and today was a lesson in how NOT to deal with kids.

I apologise unreservedly for arguing this morning and want you to know that I loved the cuddles you gave me when I dropped you at school. You told me it was alright I yelled, but it was not. As I said then “It was not ok and you need to remind me next time” so that I can learn from this too.

I love you, my little girl – this is your blog!