Hey Bubba

I probably should have written this piece a long time ago. But mum just sent me a memory from Facebook and it spurred me into action. It’s you 6 years ago, at the swimming pool for lessons. You are bopping around having the time of your life. No cares as to who is watching, no worries as to who will see. You were happy being you. It makes me emotional watching it!

And when you show that side of you, it is beautiful. It lights up the world around you. You give off contagious enthusiasm and love and no one can stop smiling and joining in.

But here is the catch. When you fear what others say (which is part and parcel of growing up sadly) you do not show that enthusiasm, that zest for life. You worry about what people will say, you tell us “we don’t get it”,  “school doesn’t work that way” and so on. I do get it though. You are I are so very alike. We have a love for life, a desire to be in it as much as possible (FOMO as they currently call it) and a real wish to please everyone. Thing is, it is impossible to please everyone. BUT worst of all – You cannot be yourself if you are trying to be things for other people.

You, the real you, the happy to be in the moment you is unstoppable. And you are happiest when you are true to yourself.

So my advice for you today is this: Be you, do things for others, but think about what it does to you when you do. Currently, you worry about what kids at school will say if you stand your ground (Dad they will hate me, they won’t want to play with me!!). But here’s the thing. Others will love you for taking a stance, for being yourself.

You take a stance with me (a lot) at the moment, pushing back as is natural. But we are arguing and you hate it as much as me. “Dad,  am sorry for giving you attitude…(but)” (lol). It is natural and it develops your debating skills anyhow. BUT we both are sad after. Mostly because we are not being ourselves. Our loving, want to make the world smile ourselves.

The real Zavia is a beautiful, amazing kid. Let her shine because when she does, she lights up the entire world around her!